I Don't Wanna Fight No More

"I Don't Wanna Fight No More"

I can't sleep,
everything i ever knew,
Is a lie,
without you,

I can't breathe,
when my heart is broke in two,
There's no beat,
without you,

You're not gone,
but you're not here,
At least that's the way it seems tonight,
If we could try to end these wars,
I know that we can make it right,
cause baby,

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

How can I leave,
when everything that I adore,
and everything I'm living for,
Girl, it's in you,

I can't dream,
sleepless nights have got me bad,
The only dream i ever had,
is being with you,

I know that we can make it right,
It's gonna take a little time,
Lets not leave ourselves with no way out,
lets not cross that line,(that line)

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

Remember that i made a vow,
that i would never let you go,
I meant it then, I mean it now,
and i want to tell you so,

I don't wanna fight no more, (oh no)
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(can we start)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more...

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for, (oh yeah)
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
(my heart)
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(I'm hoping)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more.......

It's all a lie,
Without you,

without you......


I sincerely dedicate this song to you..
I hope we could make things better between us...

where life leads me to..

hey ya'll, its been a long long time since i updated here.
there are so so many thing that happen. some are explainable and some are not.
During this pass months,
i may did things that hurt the people around me and for that i sincerely ask for your forgiveness.
But during this time,
i met people from diff walk of life and this made me grow and have a mature thinking of what else to expect from the outside world.
its is unpredictable and there is no one you can believe.
they may say 1 thing now and say something else in another minute.
they never mean wat they say and this applies to your love ones telling you that they love you forever, pls dont be so naive and believe it.
they just say it cause that wat their are feeling for the mere moment.
it will change, it always does.
i guess this does not only apply to relationship but also in other stuff.
i promise myself not to trust anyone else but me and me only.
i'm currently very down and trying very hard to put on a fake smile for the people around me, but how long can i continue this.
i have no one to turn to, i only have my poor pillow to endure my tears.
how i wish u were here to lend me a shoulder like u say u would.
i wonder wat have i done to make u hate me so much.
everything i said is the truth n nothing but the truth.
there is no one else beside u, but wat the point now right..
u have already decide. so be it la.
i'll just have to endure the pain. i guess i'll take the tear n u take the smile. :)
i feel so lost, i'm gonna fall anytime soon n gonna hit myself hard.
i just wanna run away, someone pls help me.. i just wanna go some where all alone.. no one else but me..
i guess i'll do it tonight. just drive aimlessly..

good for health.

alright then.
bye

This Is Jus Me

To everyone that is our there speculating whatever there is.. I dont give a damm. Talk all you want about me. Its up to you. Its my life, not your. So dont be busy body ba..
This is what i've chosen, and i'll live with it. If you cannot accept who i am, or rather what i am then dont. I dont care. If you seriosly have a problem, just come talk to me.
It is not right to stalk people life, to talk bout ppls life.
So why not just keep your own life busy without involving my life.
God bless You..

life's a drama

Hey ya'll, so so sorry for the late updates. my life is like a drama, i can create my own version of gossip girl. lolx. that's how 'exciting my life is'. hehe.
Sometimes i do wonder why my life is full of "excitement". its not that i attract it but its just comes naturally. does this means that i'm a trouble maker? I know in my family, i have the most problem. I might be the most problematic child and i get all the blame. but wat my family dont understand is that i have nothing to do with all the drama's in my life. i didnt ask for it, it just somehow comes to me n i have to deal with it. At least i'm bold enough to deal with it rather than running and hide.
What am i to do? I wish my family will let me deal with problems in my life rather than budging in and trying to take control of my problems. Yes, i might be only 19. But sooner or later, they will still have to let me grow, fail, and stnad up again. So y not let me experience it in college life. let me grow stronger as i fall, then i would face the working life better. i know tht wat they are doing now is protecting me from a very dangerous world. but mom, dad. i ask of u to let me go. let me experience life at my own pace and stop controlling everything from happening. you maybe protecting me now from falling, but i'm asking you to let me fall and help me satnd up again instead of holding me all the way and then let me go at a sudden when u can let go. with that i will fall and get hurt even more..
Mom, i love u. and i know i've hurt you alot, betrayed your trusts in me. but i would really love u to und that i need to learn to live in this world. all oof u cont always be protecting me right?
As for now, i'm afriad. I'm afraid of many thing. i basically have no one i can trust except my close friends. mom, you always want me to talk to the family instead of my friends. but whenever i open up to u all or everything i tell you, you will tell me that is wrong, its not right and that i'm naive in thinking. what ever that i wanna do its always wrong, and you would not want me to do it. i feel very controlled. very limited. i'm just asking for more space from you all. i need to learn to grow myself. i know you've given me lots of trusts and i've failed you. i'm asking to trust me again. and let me grow. i need some room of my own. i'm sorry. but i really hope ya'll will und me.
I'm Different. Yes, i maybe too open minded, too naive. but i can handle my own life.
I'm sorry but i need some time off from u all. my family.
For now, i only can trust my friends.
But i only trust myself.
Ya'll can do everything to stop me even if it includes stopping me from my studies. but i'll make my own decision on things.
I have plans for my own life. Its my life not yours.
N just so u know. i kinda like the drama's in my life. Its kinda makes my life interesting and i live my day as it comes.

Being in a crossroad.

People can get confuse with lots of thing in life. But i think the most complicating one is feelings and emotion. Its natural that a human can have mix emotion at the very moment. It very hard to know which is real and which is just an emotion at that mear moment. There are many ways to handle and control our emotion but many at time we tend to only run away from our true feelings with a lie to make ourself feel better or face it with the truth like an adult.

When you are in a relationship with someone and it tends to go from good to bad, then bad to worst, then it goes into 'deep shit', you often will wonder how other people can stay in a relationship for so long. Some may say its because of same interest, same personality, compromising and etc. etc. There is never a definate answer. There is never a Do's and Don't list in realationship.

How would a person know that his/her partner is 'The One'? There are so many question i have now but yet no one can ever answer it except for myself. How do you know if you truely love that someone and that you would do everthing for him or her. How does it feel knowing that your partner now is definately 'the one' you are looking for? The one that you will see as you wake up in another 30 years down the road?

Everything is good in a relationship if a person is damn sure if that wat he/she is looking for in a husband/wife. But wat if it's not? What is your partner have too many things that you dislike and have have to many thing that you disagree on? Are we suppose to compromise and just ignore our dislikes nad disagreement?

What if the person treats you damn freaking well but there are thing that you dont like bout him/ her? Do you continue hoping that he/ she will change or do you just ignore your feelings or do you compromise or do you just leave him/or and hope for a better 1 in future?

Feelings and emotions are way to confusing. Some times i just feel like escaping from the real world in life in my dream where is all sweet and nice, like in the fairy tales where they have happily ever after.

Most of the time you really feel lik just running away from that confusing state of life and alspo relationship and concentrade on other stuff, but yet you dont want to leave your partner hanging without and answer. Its so hard.

You can fool others but you can't fool me.

Its all just an act of yours. Every action have its consequences.

I wont just let it be.

Wonder Why do you still come back.

Your heart is no longer here anyway.

You should just stay there.

I don't need you anymore.

And

i don't want you to hurt anyone else.

So Pls..

Do something to save this family before its too late.

How could you be so HEARTLESS?

Should i or should i not?

All these while i'm a tee shirt, jeans, converse kind of gal. I want something more mature but yet casual. Something simple but nice. Quite hard to explain so just let me show you la k?

These are simple and nice. Long story short, i just want to look more mature yet simple la. I'm kinda like those converse/ Gap look but yet i also wanna mix it with simple, nice and mature kind of dressing. If you have any great ideas, pls do tell me k?

I just wanna know where to start and where to get affordable and good things that i can always mix and match. :)

See ya.