This Is Jus Me

To everyone that is our there speculating whatever there is.. I dont give a damm. Talk all you want about me. Its up to you. Its my life, not your. So dont be busy body ba..
This is what i've chosen, and i'll live with it. If you cannot accept who i am, or rather what i am then dont. I dont care. If you seriosly have a problem, just come talk to me.
It is not right to stalk people life, to talk bout ppls life.
So why not just keep your own life busy without involving my life.
God bless You..

life's a drama

Hey ya'll, so so sorry for the late updates. my life is like a drama, i can create my own version of gossip girl. lolx. that's how 'exciting my life is'. hehe.
Sometimes i do wonder why my life is full of "excitement". its not that i attract it but its just comes naturally. does this means that i'm a trouble maker? I know in my family, i have the most problem. I might be the most problematic child and i get all the blame. but wat my family dont understand is that i have nothing to do with all the drama's in my life. i didnt ask for it, it just somehow comes to me n i have to deal with it. At least i'm bold enough to deal with it rather than running and hide.
What am i to do? I wish my family will let me deal with problems in my life rather than budging in and trying to take control of my problems. Yes, i might be only 19. But sooner or later, they will still have to let me grow, fail, and stnad up again. So y not let me experience it in college life. let me grow stronger as i fall, then i would face the working life better. i know tht wat they are doing now is protecting me from a very dangerous world. but mom, dad. i ask of u to let me go. let me experience life at my own pace and stop controlling everything from happening. you maybe protecting me now from falling, but i'm asking you to let me fall and help me satnd up again instead of holding me all the way and then let me go at a sudden when u can let go. with that i will fall and get hurt even more..
Mom, i love u. and i know i've hurt you alot, betrayed your trusts in me. but i would really love u to und that i need to learn to live in this world. all oof u cont always be protecting me right?
As for now, i'm afriad. I'm afraid of many thing. i basically have no one i can trust except my close friends. mom, you always want me to talk to the family instead of my friends. but whenever i open up to u all or everything i tell you, you will tell me that is wrong, its not right and that i'm naive in thinking. what ever that i wanna do its always wrong, and you would not want me to do it. i feel very controlled. very limited. i'm just asking for more space from you all. i need to learn to grow myself. i know you've given me lots of trusts and i've failed you. i'm asking to trust me again. and let me grow. i need some room of my own. i'm sorry. but i really hope ya'll will und me.
I'm Different. Yes, i maybe too open minded, too naive. but i can handle my own life.
I'm sorry but i need some time off from u all. my family.
For now, i only can trust my friends.
But i only trust myself.
Ya'll can do everything to stop me even if it includes stopping me from my studies. but i'll make my own decision on things.
I have plans for my own life. Its my life not yours.
N just so u know. i kinda like the drama's in my life. Its kinda makes my life interesting and i live my day as it comes.